Hey, I lost my job: update
Filed under: network marketing, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, positive attitude, solving problems
You may have read my posts from a few weeks ago (Hey, I’ve been fired! Day 2, Day 3, Week 1, Week 2), about the aftermath of being fired from my job. There have been so many ups and downs along the way, but all in all? Things have been going really, really well.
One of the biggest changes was that my husband and I moved out of our townhouse and into the studio space that I was using as an office, body-work treatment room, meeting room, and art studio. I also canceled some of the financial commitments that have been a significant part of our overhead each month. Our overhead is still about twice my husband’s salary, but the gap gets covered by my network marketing income, and little surprises from the universe that wander into our lives just at the right time.
The extra time each day has been an unbelievable blessing. I know so much about twitter and facebook, blogging, videos for youtube, and next on my list, myspace. Being able to plug into all of these social networks, to learn the ins and outs, and have fun along the way, has brought me to the point where I really get it now. All of the mysterious (what??? why?!?) nuances have cleared away, and everything makes sense now. I would never have tackled all of that while holding down a J.O.B.
I’ve learned a lot about me, too. I’ve gotten pretty good at keeping my spirits up, watching my attitude, moving the energy so as not to get bogged down in a pity party. There have been only a couple of occasions where my husband has had to pat my shoulder, giving me the space to whimper “poor me, poor me”, but even those have been pretty entertaining.
The biggest experiential lesson has been that simpler is better. We fit nicely into this studio space. We have lots of windows. We have everything we need even though we got rid of tons of stuff. We don’t do much cooking, so the teeny kitchen is just the right size. Our cat likes it, because now he doesn’t have to wander back and forth between our former townhouse and my former office/studio. We’re always here in this spot, and he can sleep soundly, guarding his humans and his pint-sized yard. His job has become manageable, too. Life is good.
I’ve learned that if you take away the big financial burden, life can feel safe again. You can start to uncurl, grow, blossom. Peace of mind is a huge reward for keeping a positive attitude, so the lesson is much easier than it used to be.
Taking away the big financial burden also took away the imperative of making this business work! This week! Now!!! Instead, I can nourish its growth at a pace that is truer to who I am and how I interact with people. I have more time to meet people for tea, networking in a way that’s fun rather than scary. I have more time to read all of the training stuff floating around out there. I had enough time to meander down to Anaheim for our quarterly corporate training weekend. It was a glorious week, and I’m looking forward to the next one enthusiastically.
So, if you find yourself in a tight spot, let go of the complexities of life that have become burdensome, and let yourself breathe again. Move somewhere cheaper, and if that means smaller, then hold each object in your hands, close your eyes, and feel whether the object fills you with guilt, pulling you down over things left undone, or lifts your spirits and fills you with delight because you love using this silly thing every day. Get rid of the downers and pack up the uppers. Your new space will be freeing and invigorating. You’ll be able to accomplish miraculous things, in joy and harmony, with a calm heart and a free mind.
Gifts abound.
Hey, I’ve been fired, Week 2
Filed under: building your business, dreams into reality, entrepereneurs, overcoming fear, positive attitude, time management, try try again
Surprisingly, now that I’ve been fired, Monday mornings are the worst day of the week. Usually, on Monday mornings, we ramp ourselves up for our work week. We drag ourselves out of bed and step into our workday routine. A lot of times, we hate Monday mornings. We feel like we’re heading back to confinement, after a weekend of freedom and doing exactly what we want to do.
So you would think that Monday mornings would be great, if you didn’t have to go into work. Freedom! That would probably be true, if there wasn’t a fear clamped firmly in my gut, settling wetly on my heart, a constant undertone of worry about the future, worry about how things are going to turn out, how does this movie end. . .
The loss of morning routines can be disconcerting and can aggravate worry and fear. So it follows that establishing an alternative morning routine can provide a sense of order and purpose to the day. Since I’m calling the shots now, I’ve decided to include things that I enjoy into my morning routine. But it’s also important to include things that maintain my self-discipline and increase my certainty of success.
On my list of enjoyable things: meditation, yoga postures, writing, hot bath, gazing into my cat’s adoring eyes, talking with my husband, watercolor, taking action. On my list of disciplined things: balanced breakfast, walking, catching up on emails, paying bills, waiting.
Taking action and waiting are a balancing act. I’ve signed up another 4 people in my business in the last few days, sent out a newsletter, written follow-up emails to everyone on the list, sent out samples and literature, gotten my downline pointed in the direction that’s best for each person. . . Taking action is the easy part for me. But it has to be balanced with waiting to be truly effective. I have to consciously make myself wait, wait for others to sift through the information in their brains in order to move forward; wait for the emails to be opened and read, absorbed; wait for the postal service to deliver the samples and literature; wait for the soup to simmer and be ready for lunch.
A friend told me: take care not to drive faster than your angels can fly. Last week, a couple of times, I drove too fast and splatted against the wall at the dead end because I missed the side street where the answer was patiently waiting for me. I put in motion a couple of projects that didn’t need doing. I left voice messages that were outdated after I opened my email and found the answers waiting for me there.
Progress is directional. If you have trouble taking action, then progress for you is convincing yourself to take action. If you’re doing too many things and spinning your wheels, then progress for you is slowing down and balancing your life. And when your life changes drastically, your directional progress may require a fresh look and evaluation of what’s really going on and what would be the best direction for your energy and focus.
So this Monday morning, I’m establishing a new routine, balanced yet active, thoughtful yet reaching out, generating a positive attitude, nurturing hope that turns into faith that turns into belief that turns into reality. I’m waiting yet taking action, balancing the two opposites perfectly in my heart, letting the joy blossom and grow, enveloping my day, guiding me toward the right thing to do.
How is your Monday?
Learn to communicate
Filed under: MLM, building your business, finding new prospects, learning network marketing, network marketing, overcoming fear, perfect business, positive attitude, prospecting, talking with friends
With any business, you have to learn how to communicate with others. If you make fabulous jewelry, you’ll have to wear it all, unless you can tell others all about it.
There are lots of options for getting the word out, and those options exist whether you’re an artisan, a dentist, a massage therapist, a CEO, or a network marketer.
So, if you want to move from the world of employees trading their time for some money, into the world of business owners, where your time and money expand while you sit on a beach, you have to learn to communicate.
Luckily, communication is a learned skill. I know, because I used to be lousy at it. I couldn’t think of what to say after “Hi, I’m Marilyn.” Most of my mind then switched to the theme of “How do I get out of this conversation without mortifying myself.” I was wooden; I was shifty-eyed, I was shallow, I was frozen.
Now, I can pretty much chat away with anyone I choose. It’s pretty cool. And a HUGE relief.
The key is to keep the focus of the conversation on the person to whom you’re speaking. If you can keep a person talking about himself, he will come away from the conversation thinking that you are fascinating. If you can keep a person talking about himself, you will come away knowing whether or not what you have to offer is a good fit for that person. Perfect.
Most of the time, the initial conversation isn’t about your business or product at all. It’s about establishing a connection. Some people only need a slight connection before they’re ready to talk business. Other people need a long long time before they can open their ears.
Follow their lead. If their need is strong, right there on the surface, they’ll bring it up long before you have to pry it out of them. If their need is minimal or doesn’t carry a relationship to what you have to offer, then you don’t need to talk business after all. It’s not the right time yet, or it’s just not for them. Either way, you know where to go, because you’re just following along after them, asking questions that let you know what’s up with THEM.
Practice where it’s easier. Tell the cashier that you like her earrings. See if the conversation has good energy around it. Then be on your way. Ask the couple in front of you in line if they’ve ever eaten here before, what’s their favorite on the menu. See if it goes anywhere. Follow their lead.
Practice every day, in small ways. Then when the right opportunity for a business conversation comes along, you’ll be a well-oiled machine. You’ll be open to the possibilities each person presents to you, and it will all be natural and fun.
If it’s fun, you’ll do it more often. The first dozen might be awkward, but soon you’ll get to the fun level, and then you’ll be on your way. You’ll have crossed another hurdle, and you won’t need to look back.
Hurray for you!
Hey, I’ve been fired; week 1
Filed under: building your business, dreams into reality, entrepereneurs, learning network marketing, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, positive attitude
Many things change when you’ve lost your job. Routine is one of the changes that rears up in front of you immediately. Here it is, Monday morning, and I’m home with no real agenda in front of me. It’s tempting to go back to bed, curl up with a good book or engrossing video, talk to my cat or call a friend and chat for an hour or two. Escape can be very inviting.
But that’s not going to get me where I want to go. Sometimes you have to just give in and indulge your fear, but I’m determined not to let that become a habit. The best antidote for fear and uncertainty is taking action. I’ve generated some very strong leads, and I’m going to follow up on them today, with confidence and genuine friendliness.
The business and products that I have to offer people are the best that I’ve ever found. I’m crazy about my products, and the people who have tried them are now crazy about them, too. My company is headed up by the best business people around, and I love working with them. I have so much to offer people, and I’m using that knowledge to feed my enthusiasm and take charge of my attitude, my world view.
In parallel with this, I’m opening up communication about some consulting work that I can do on the side, a few hours a week, to help pay the bills while my business continues to grow. I know that this will give me some breathing room and help me to feel a bit safer financially.
This is a bit tricky, because it would be easy to spread too thin, putting energy into consulting rather than focusing completely on building my business. But you can’t build a business with confidence if you’re working from a platform of fear. It’s important to make your present reality one that you can live in with an open heart, so that that’s what you show the world, rather than an underlying edge of fear.
To manage both of these endeavors, I’m committing to taking care of MY business FIRST, then turning to the consulting sideline to keep it flowing along. I’m keeping my priorities very clear in my mind and in my heart, so the universe knows how it’s supposed to respond to help me move forward into my new reality.
I’m enjoying the journey, while I move toward my destination.
You want to change the world? Transform yourself.
Filed under: learning network marketing, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, perfect business, positive attitude, try try again
- If anyone tells you that starting your own business is easy, you have my permission to laugh out loud. If anyone tells you that you don’t have to work hard, you can hold your stomach and roll on the grass. If anyone tells you that you can pay off your mortgage next month, please, gasp for breath.
But if anyone tells you that the hardest part of succeeding in your own business is working on yourself, please go very still and listen with every fiber of your being. You are talking with someone who has been down that road and grabbed the prize. You have found a leader who can help you succeed.
You should listen very carefully to people who have succeeded. You should ignore the blathering of those who have failed. They’ll only enable you to fail, too.
I’ve worked very hard to succeed at network marketing. Learning to talk with people was pretty fun, because it got easier and easier. Learning to describe our compensation plan was pretty fun, because I love describing how money flows into your bank account. Learning to burbble about our product was fun because I absolutely LOVE our product. All of that was easy.
What was hard, was me. Sometimes I was in a bad mood, and didn’t want to return phone calls. Sometimes I felt overwhelmed, and then sorry for myself, yearning for some time to just stare at the walls. Sometimes it was hard to pick myself up off the floor, because I had battered my self-esteem so thoroughly that I was numb with indecision and fear.
And so along the way, I learned to treat myself as well as I treat other people. I started asking myself, would I ever say that to someone else? Maybe I should take that back, and then forgive myself for even saying it.
I learned to let myself stare at the wall, when that’s all I could do. That wasn’t too hard. What was harder was not beating myself up for wasting time staring at the wall. If that was what I needed, then that is what I would give myself.
I learned to recognize that I’m a very hard worker, and that I work better if I’m filled with joy. I learned to focus on the joy, and consistently turn away from the ickies. I went on an icky fast. And just like any determined fasting effort, the ickies started to drop away. Then I learned how to not put them back on. I am icky-slim. I move through the world, icky-free.
Every once in a while, I’ll pick up an icky and give it a try. You know what? It tastes icky now. I have the ability to choose between joy and icky, and I’ve learned that joy tastes way better. I’ve learned to discern the difference.
So I have succeeded at network marketing. I make all the money that I want, that I need. That’s nice.
I have succeeded at network marketing. I am joyful; I laugh easily, from the heart; I smile at everyone, and they smile back, brightly. I am transformed.
That’s more than nice. That’s wondrous.
You want to change the world? Transform yourself.
I’ve been fired, Day 3
Filed under: MLM, finding new prospects, giving up, network marketing, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, perfect business, positive attitude, solving problems, try try again
Day 3 hit me hard. It was a day of anxiety and disappointment, but now that I’m sitting here in Day 4, I can see that it was a reality that I created for myself.
Huh?
What I mean is that I had huge expectations. I envisioned my conference room filled to the brim with 40 people, that they would all enthusiastically fill out the enrollment forms after hearing my brilliant presentation, and that they would each run out and find 5 of their friends for our next meeting and the avalanche would carry us all along to the promised land.
Well, there were less than 40 people, and although the presentation was brilliant, not everyone signed up and rushed out to find their friends. So I slipped into a slump and landed in a great big puddle of fear. My poor husband; he helped me limp along while I gave in to despair and waited until there was a glimmer of positive thought and blew gently on that ember so that it could start to warm my soul.
In actuality, I made 3 extremely promising contacts that have become even more promising this morning, only 18 hours later; I have a list of 20 new emails and phone numbers for follow up from enthusiastic people who weren’t able to make it to last night’s meeting, and I have a clear idea of my next step. Oh, and did I mention that I have 3 new enrollees?
And yet that icky fear is still clinging to my ankles, threatening to rise up and swallow my heart, and render me incapable of motion.
It’s all in my head. Yesterday was a GREAT success. At any other point, my heart would be dancing a jig, and I would be grinning at everyone within radar range.
Thank goodness for self-honesty. It’s important to be able to look inside and discern the source of discord. Stress is the difference between the way we want something to be, and the way it actually is. Stress diminishes when you work with things the way they are, instead of the way that you want them to be.
So when I look at what really happened yesterday and my reaction to what happened yesterday, it’s easy to see that the cause of my stress is this impending deadline of needing to make this work within 2 months. I felt that my very survival depended on the presence of 40 enthusiastic enrollees at one meeting. I created this reality for myself that told me I failed, when actually, I succeeded.
Being in business for yourself is more than just making things happen, like getting people to a meeting, training them, mentoring them. It’s also about personal growth, managing yourself, taking responsibility for your reactions, monitoring your world view. I’m a much stronger person today than I was yesterday, because I had to lift some pretty heavy weights, and I did it. I’m a bit bruised, but even that is evaporating as the minutes tick by.
Despair doesn’t get you anywhere. Clear thought, positive attitude, taking action: those get you wherever you want to go. So, I’m leaving despair behind, and turning my face toward my next positive action, which is to follow up with the 25 people that I met yesterday.
Day 4 awaits!
Hey! I got fired!
Filed under: MLM, building your business, dreams into reality, entrepereneurs, network marketing, overcoming fear, perfect business, positive attitude, solving problems, timing, women entrepreneurs
Yesterday, my boss fired me. Or maybe I got laid off; not sure what the difference is. Kinder terminology maybe. Regardless of the terms, yesterday I had a job; today I don’t have a job. That’s a big change in my reality, and it happens to a lot of people.
Yesterday, I was pretty upset. It caught me, not completely by surprise, but I didn’t see it coming right now. I knew it was something that could happen, but I had let myself be lulled into a sense of security, of things going on the way they always have. I felt safe and content, and then suddenly, during a 3-minute conversation, I felt vulnerable and all alone.
I cleared out my desk, packed up the artwork and plants that made my little corner pretty and comforting. A friend helped me carry everything out to my car. And I drove away. It happened so fast, and it was so late in the day, I was able to say goodbye to only two people. Today, everyone came in and probably saw my empty spot and wondered what in the world happened.
Now, I sort of knew it could happen, because I knew that money was tight. I knew that some funding that they’d been counting on was maybe not going to happen, but they assured me that it wouldn’t affect me, that they really needed me, and that I was safe. But I wasn’t safe. It did affect me. My world is very different today than it was yesterday, not even 24 hours ago.
That’s the world almost all of us live in today. Things change and they can change FAST.
I went home and told my husband what had happened, and my victory was that I was able to talk without breaking into tears. He was supportive and encouraging and enthusiastic about what door might open next. I was too caught up in my emotion to be swayed by his positive attitude, but I was able to stay off that slippery slope of debilitating fear and despair.
I didn’t sleep much last night, so I woke up tired and groggy. But the amazing thing was, I woke up optimistic, enthusiastic, with a sense of freedom that has stayed with me all day long.
Things happen for a reason. We’ve all heard that, and most of us believe it, but when we’re in the middle of a crisis, we might not be able to feel it. But I feel it. I have been working hard all day long at the thing that I LOVE to do, without fear, without anxiety, just knowing that it feels so right to be doing this. I can focus my full attention on MY own business, without the distraction of someone else’s business.
I’m the main wage earner in my household. My husband is a minister and loves his work, but it doesn’t pay anything at all. My income pays all of the bills, and sends us on vacation and buys us new computers and iPhones. So when my income goes away, our lives change.
But I’m not worried. I know that MY own business is going to grow tremendously over the next two months, because I know what I’m doing, and I can finally, finally focus on what I love to do: MY own amazing business. My own AMAZING business.
The worst financial disaster that could have happened to me and my family happened yesterday. And I’m feeling GREAT!
Choose your emotion
Filed under: learning network marketing, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, perfect business, positive attitude, solving problems, try try again
It’s easy to be in a good mood when you’re in a good mood. It can be somewhat harder to shift from a bad mood into a good mood.
Sometimes I wake up enthusiastic, with 24 ideas on what I want to write about, who I want to call, what I’m going to say at lunch, the messages I’m going to email my downline, my crossline, my upline. Those mornings are fabulous.
Sometimes I wake up weary. I curl up in a ball and just want it all to go away.
But those days are becoming more and more rare. I’ve been learning how to choose my emotion.
How?
Here are some clues:
1. Practice when it’s easier. Have you ever gone through child birth? Have you ever watched or coached someone going through child birth? There are breathing techniques that help you separate yourself from the pain. There are body positions that you can uses at different stages. There are things that you can do during child birth that will help a lot.
But you have to practice them ahead of time. If you wait until you’re in the middle of labor, and someone says, “Breathe, sweetheart, breathe”, your apt to take a wild swing and punch him in the jaw. You have to practice when it’s easier, so that you can draw upon your expertise when you’re in the moment and really, really need it.
2. Act consciously. When you feel yourself slipping into a mood, pay attention. I tell myself, “This is not where I want to go.” “This does not belong to me.” “This belongs to someone else, and I’m not that person.” I play great music, really loud, really quietly. I sing. I keep a collection of inspiring books, and open one up and read a few pages to get me back on track. I tell myself again and again, until it starts to take hold, “This is not mine. I’m giving it back to You.”
3. Be kind to yourself. If you’re too far gone to drag yourself out, let yourself wallow for a while. No berating. No self-flagellation. Turn away from those habits again and again. Realize that you’re here now, but you won’t be here for long. You’ll come out on the other side and return to the reality that fits you better.
4. Balance your energy. I have to admit that my most powerful tool is my Ayurvedic herbal drink. It shifts overwhelm to decisiveness. It shifts foggy-headedness to clarity. It shifts procrastination to action. It balances my energy, so I can exist in my best reality.
It’s all in your head, but that’s a marvelous thing. That means you can take charge and change it. Choose your emotion. And make it a good one.
Yellow brick road
Filed under: dreams into reality, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, positive attitude, try try again, women entrepreneurs
All things are possible. An idea, a dream, starts floating around in your brain, bumping into things, coming into focus, melting into the background, floating, bumping, today, next week, last month.
An insight blossoms in your heart. You see something that speaks directly to your inner self and you know that this is important.
Do you let it go? Do you turn away, sighing?
You don’t have to.
Take the first step. Simply turn your attention to the idea, the dream, the blossom. Hold it firmly, gently, in your heart.
You’ve started.
Every journey begins with a first step. Progress is made, step by step.
Make a commitment to YOUR yellow brick road.
What’s your dream?
Filed under: MLM, leadership, network marketing, overcoming fear, overcoming obstacles, positive attitude, solving problems, try try again
In your heart, in the center of your being, what is the dream that waits, yearning to blossom?
I want to wake up . . .
when I’m finished sleeping.
I want to go where I want. . .
when I want. . .
with whomever I want. . .
I want to travel. . .
and find amazement in the world.
I want to study. . .
and explore all that fascinates me.
I want to help others. . .
and watch their eyes. . .
as their world transforms. . .
into their dreams.
I want to make a difference!
I want to be somebody!
I want my life to matter!
What do you want from life?
What do you believe is your greatest challenge?
If you take this step. . .
what does your life look like?
Where do you want to go?
How will you get there?
Connect with your enthusiasm and abundance!
I will lead
not follow.
I will believe
not doubt.
I will create
not destroy.
I am a force for good.
Step up!
Step up!
Step up!
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